Green is for sissies. That statement – the lead headline of the Business Section in last week’s Sunday  New York Times – all but sums up ExxonMobil’s long-term business strategy and brutally honest marketing approach. Even as oil reserves become harder to find, access becomes more strictly controlled, and global warming concerns are top of mind, Exxon remains unapologetically wed to the oil and gas.

Oil companies have been favorite targets of environmental activists over the years and are embroiled in the heat of the debate over global warming. In response, BP, Shell, and Chevron have all sought recently to reinvent their brand through investments in solar, wind, and geothermal, respectively. These investments suggest a forward-looking commitment toward independence from oil. In contrast, Exxon has clung steadfast to oil and gas production, demand for which it believes will increase nearly one third by 2030.

Clearly, Exxon is bucking the trend, and it remains to be seen whether this is smart marketing because they are differentiating themselves, or whether it just atrocious PR brought about by being stubborn. We’re betting on the latter…

OK all you communications junkies, let’s play a little game we call PR Gaffe of the Week. This is the where we look at some of the most egregious communications missteps of the past few days and choose the one we think played out the worst in the media.

Sure there are plenty to pick from, but this week let’s focus on two areas that are on everyone’s minds these days – the financial meltdown and, of course, football.

From the world of sports we don’t have to look any further than the much maligned signal caller of our Philadelphia Iggles. After a 13-13 tie with the hapless Cincinnati Bengals, Donovan McNabb admitted in his post-game press conference that he didn’t know an NFL game could end in a tie.

Really? You didn’t know a game could end in a tie, even though you’ve played in the league for ten years and in that time another game has ended in a tie? You didn’t know a game could end in a tie even though virtually every fan who has watched the game since the age of ten knows that rule, not to mention they announce it prior to the coin flip of every overtime period? Well the media and the fans couldn’t believe it either and they killed him for it on every outlet from local sports talk station WIP, to Sports Illustrated, to the Rush Limbaugh show.  He might get some slack if he were a linemen, but he’s the quarterback and he’s got to know that.

So let D Mac’s slip up sink in as we move on to Capitol Hill and the CEOs of the big three US Automakers. These three knuckle sticks didn’t even have to say anything to wind up on the hot seat. They came to Washington this week to plead for a $25 billion bailout to save their ailing industry and, according to them, the US economy. And how did they get there? The same way any down on its luck trio would – on a private jet!

Gentlemen, one simple rule; everything communicates – and pauper and private jet simply don’t mix. Of course they were widely lampooned for the move. One of the best barbs came from Rep. Gary Ackerman of NY who said, “It’s almost like seeing a guy show up at the soup kitchen in high hat and tuxedo. It kind of makes you a little bit suspicious.”  Now there’s a guy who knows how to communicate.

So who wins, Eagles ignoramus or out of touch auto execs? You make the call. From our standpoint we’re going with McNabb. Why? As far as the three stooges, we’ve just come to expect that kind of hubris from business executives. With McNabb he loses in the “whose smarter than a third grader” game this week. Besides it’s en vogue to pile on the Eagles these days in Philly and who are we to buck the trend? 

How do you thaw a turkey? According to Butterball’s Turkey Talk-Line, the answer to this, the most common of all questions is “in the fridge, a day for every four pounds.” Butterball’s Turkey Talk-Line has existed for over 25 years, and throughout this time, nearly 3 million people have phoned in for free turkey-cooking advice. Throughout the years the talk line has evolved from a team of six people to a staff of 50 and now accommodates nearly 100,000 consumer calls each season.

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Plain and simple, the talk line makes butterball look good. And that makes Butterball sell turkeys. In fact in 2004, Butterball comprised 23% of all whole turkey sales, while the industry’s whole turkey sales fell 4%. The hotline is more than a helpful service. It’s an ingenious marketing tool. It has gained such notoriety, that it was even featured on the highly acclaimed TV series, The West Wing, when the President of the United States needed Turkey-roasting advice.

But Butterball realizes that times – they are a-changing. So this year, Butterball has gone the way of Web 2.0 by making Turkey Talk interactive in order to cater to the next generation of cooks.

Consumers can now receive turkey texts on mobile phones providing reminders and temperature guidelines. Now, they can log on to turkey blogs, check out Butterball’s new mobile website, participate in turkey web chats, and watch how-to videos at Butterball.com.

Butterball clearly realizes that if they want to engage today’s audience, and the next generation of cooks, then they need to utilize the online and mobile technology and conveniences of 2009.

Butterball isn’t the only company to jump on the viral bandwagon. After becoming the first national pizza chain to offer online and text message ordering, Papa John’s has teamed up with Facebook, in order to enter the next phase of online marketing. Beginning Monday, November 17, any Facebook user who becomes a fan of the official Papa John’s Facebook page will receive an online redemption code for a free medium pizza with any online pizza order.

Realizing that Thanksgiving Eve is consistently one of the three busiest nights in the pizza industry, this promotion is a smart way to touch the pizza eaters of today’s generation who use facebook for all important means of communication. Pizza Hut and Dominos have also joined the facebook act, offering their thousands of fans special online offers.

So this holiday season it seems that preparing and ordering food is just a text or click away. And there’s no doubt that as companies try to reach the next generation of consumers, traditional marketing tactics will be refined with the new technologies and social networking tools that make it so easy for us all to connect. Now that’s what I call turkeyrific.

Let’s face it, Great Depression’s have the habit of taking all the fun out of innovation. It’s really just human nature. It’s hard to come up with exciting creative ideas (and sell them) when the world is falling all around us. The fact is, great ideas are more important in a recession than any other time. Some of our greatest market innovations (including brainstorming itself) were conceived or launched in America’s darkest times.

Take my kid’s iPod. Please! People don’t realize that this iconic product was launched six weeks after one of America’s darkest hours – 9/11. October 23, 2001 – markets tanking, bubbles bursting – arguably a terrible time for a launch. What Jobs knew, and still knows, is that market needs are more discernable, not less in dark times.

Go back to another October – 1929: The big crash. With unemployment at 25%, corporate profits less than zero, and more than 15,000 failed banks, Henry R. Luce launched a cockamamie idea for a business magazine called “Fortune”. I can easily hear the arguments of the detractors of his day. “The last thing we need right now,” they’d say, “is a new periodical of business! Henry, aren’t you reading the papers?” He was. But, what Luce saw, others could not. The business press of that era was black and white (literally) with tables upon facts of life-less business data. To be different, Luce didn’t hire MBAs or experienced economists to write his copy; he recruited young literary talent. Archibald MacLeish, John Kenneth Galbraith, and Alfred Kazin filled the pages of Fortune with flowing human interest articles that were brash, irreverent, and critical.

Innovation is not simply a luxury of good times. It is a business fundamental that becomes more essential, and quite frankly, easier and more efficient when times are tough. In fact brainstorming itself was invented in the shadow the Great Depression. In the early 1930’s a young ad exec, Alex Osborn , who would go on to be the “O” in BBDO, invented the technique for what he called a team creative process. It was designed to encourage original and spontaneous thinking among his employees and to produce the maximum number of new ideas.

Osborn’s original rules provide the basic foundation for brainstorming such as holding all criticism, encouraging wild ideas, and combining and improving concepts of others.

But experience shows that while being completely accurate, Osborn’s rules are hard to remember. Think of the last “brainstorm” you were involved in. Let me guess how it went. Manager A decides the company needs some new ideas. About nine people are invited to brainstorm. It is scheduled to follow the ops meeting that leaves everyone tired and cranky. The word INNOVATION is written in all caps on the white board next to a drawing of a light bulb. After some niceties, the group starts complaining about service gaps, revenue projections and information hurdles. One or two people suggest some new ways of doing things. The manager placates them urging them to explore those ideas further, but not to take their eyes of the ball. The meeting ends 35 minutes later in a discussion about holiday time off. Sound familiar?

It doesn’t need to be so hard. As a public service in these dark-ish times, we have recast Osborn’s ideas into an easy-to-remember acronym – I.D.E.A.S.

I – Invent out loud

D – Defer all judgment

E – Expand others’ concepts

A – Accept no boundaries

S – Show every idea.

Innovation does not always require a hefty R&D budget. It does require a budget of time. When business is off, time becomes cheaper and more plentiful. Why not use unused business time as an asset rather than a write-off? Consider all the ways you can put creative time to work for you – improving your service experience, gaining more competitive insights, connecting with more of your customers, or exploring new offerings in new markets. Most of these require minimal capital costs, but maxim creative costs.

It also requires a heft dose of optimism. But that’s also cheap. Consider the positive energy of Adolph Ochs , publisher of the New York Times in 1929. With ad revenues in the toilet and readership falling, Ochs decided to push on, without any cuts in staff or editorial quality. He issued a memo to staff: “We must set an example of optimism. Please urge every department to go ahead as if we thought the best year in the world was ahead of us.”

The paper retained its physical and symbolic weight and muscled its way through one of the toughest years on record. In December, when the time to select the most important story of the year, Ochs chose Admiral Byrd’s discovery of the Antarctic ()over the stock market crash – an optimistic choice. The picture of the adventurer in his snowy parka and determined grimace stood in stark contrast to the photos of men hunched in overcoats standing in breadlines.

So in these dark times, you have to ask yourself: Are you waiting in the breadline for things to get better, or setting off on an adventure of new ideas?

As you’ve probably heard by now, the city of Philadelphia is strapped for cash. As a result of the cash crisis for the city, Mayor Michael Nutter has proposed closing dozens of libraries and pools, reducing salaries and laying off roughly 3,000 city employees. Nutter has even given himself an $18,500 pay cut.

Drastic times call for drastic measures, indeed. So drastic in fact, that Nutter went to D.C. today with his hand out. It was an “Oliver Twist” meets “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” moment as Nutter and mayors of Atlanta and Phoenix petitioned Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson for funding.

So, what other big move has the city made? Cue the music. Dim the lights. Take your seats. The city is now posting the names of every business that owes more than $50,000 in taxes. The taxes total $27 million that should be in the city’s bank account. If you’re on the list, this is what we call bad public relations.

If ever there was a time and a place for some Crisis Communications 101, it is now. So, follow these three easy steps:

· Validate Concern

· Show Action

· Show Them You Care

These basic principles apply to everyone. They work for Nutter and the city. They work for the businesses that owe the city taxes (for this latter group, we add a fourth – pay your taxes).

So far, Nutter is doing the right things. We won’t know for a while if it works. But, if all other strategies fail, Nutter could start renting himself out as entertainment. Again, cue the music, dim the … well, you get the point. Check out Michael Nutter perform “Rapper’s Delight”.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zxCOKG3orQ[/youtube].